Writer's Talk: I Am Good, and They Are Also Good

I had dinner this week with two friends who are also writers. M writes novels; B is a journalist; I stick to short fiction and proposals. It was wonderful to be able to share craft and have that feeling of being understood and yet have no feeling of competition between us since we focus in such different areas.

Even if we had all been journalists or novelists or poets (like the astonishing Red Bird), we still could have been supportive and welcoming of each other's work. We are the kind of people who are willing to make space.

But maybe sometimes that would be difficult, particularly if a friend was having success that you felt you weren't. I've been meaning for a while to post Natalie Goldberg's wonderful thoughts on the subject of comparison, "Writing Is a Communal Act" from Writing Down the Bones:

"So writing is not just writing. It is also having a relationship with other writers. And don't be jealous, especially secretly. That's the worst kind. If someone writes something great, it's just more clarity in the world for all of us. Don't make writers "other," different from you: "They are good, and I am bad." Don't create that dichotomy. It makes it hard to become good if you create that duality. The opposite, of course, is also true: if you say, "I am great, and they aren't," then you become too proud, unable to grow as a writer or hear criticism of your work. Just: "They are good and I am good." That statement gives a lot of space. "They have been at it longer, and I can walk their path for a while and learn from them."